10 Ways to Help Kids that are Quitters

Do you have a child who can’t find their niche?  Sometimes it’s not a matter of them not being able to find things that they like, but finding something that they will like well enough to stick with it.  It’s a great parent that will allow their child to try many different sports and activities, but what if your kid quits everything that they try.  Check out 10 ways to help kids that are quitters.

1. Set a good example: The key to most parenting I find is to set a good example.  Kids learn by watching what their parents do.  Take a good look at yourself.  Do you try a lot of things only to quit them after they weren’t what you thought they would be?  If that’s the case you need to make sure that you are sticking to something until the end.  Not the end of time, but until the end of the season or class.  Don’t let your child see you quit, but let them help you celebrate when you finish what you’ve started.
2. Set a new rule: Surely you have other rules in your home so it’s time you added a new one.  You have to be sure that you want to do something before you start and you have to stick with it until the end no matter what.  If you sign up for soccer, but find that running is not for you, you still have to stick with it until the end of the season.
3. Celebrate successes: When your child takes an art class that lasts 4 weeks you need to celebrate that they stuck it out until the end.  By rewarding your child for completing something they will gain enjoyment from finishing something that they have started.  Do this even if it’s only a race at school.  They finished the race, no matter what place, they finished. 
4. Set clear expectations: Give your child all of the facts going in to a new activity.  Maybe they have no clue what will happen in Chess club, but their friend Johnny is joining it so they want to do it too.  Play a few games of chess with them at home before they join the club and are committed for a semester.  If you don’t know how to play then look it up on the Internet.  Chess is not a game with a lot of excitement in it so if your kid needs a lot of stimulus maybe chess isn’t going to be the thing for them.
5. Start small: In order to give your child those successes at first it might be a good idea to start small.  Don’t join chess club for 6 months or soccer for 4 months.  Let them take an art class that lasts 2-3 hours.  If they enjoy that class then let them take another sometime.  Once they have taken a few short classes and enjoyed them then it might be time to take a longer class.  Or put them into a 3-day holiday soccer camp to see if they like soccer.  They can do anything for three days and they will get a taste of what to expect.
6. Let them beg you: Instead of constantly trying to get your child into a club or activity you might want to just expose them to different things and see where their interest lies.  Then when you see various classes or things come up you can read it to them and see if they look like they have an interest.  Then back off and see if they come back to you to ask you if they can join it.
7. Do something with them: Find a class where you can both take it and do an activity together.  Not only will your child get to spend more time with you and vice versa, but they will get to see how you handle the challenges you encounter at the class.  It should be a great learning experience for both of you.  You may learn that your child is shy when asking for help.
8. Help them work through issues: Find out why they want to quit something.  Is it because they don’t know anyone?  Is it because they are being picked on?  What is the reason behind quitting?  If the reason is something like, “I can’t do it” then you know that you need to help them work on their skills.  Once they master that skill then they will feel better.  If they are being bullied then maybe you need to speak to the head of the activity or team.
9. Winning isn’t everything: Make sure that you aren’t sending the wrong message.  Some kids want to please their parents so much that they will try to do something, but then find out that they can’t win.  If they think you need them to win all the time then they will take the easy way out and quit instead of disappointing you week in and week out.
10. Give them an alternative to quitting: Try to find out why your child wants to quit something.  If you hear that it’s boring or I don’t like the teacher/coach then you can offer to switch them to a different team once the session is over.  Maybe they want to learn soccer, but they ended up with a coach that doesn’t fit their personality.  Not all kids can take a coach yelling at them.  Then again, not all coaches yell.  Finding the right team could be all it takes.

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